


Yesterday and Tomorrow

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-27
Updated: 2006-08-27
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: Robin's hand reached forward and stroked the belt buckle one more time. "Maybe," he said slowly, his voice keeping rhythm with his fingers, "We should fuck with the timeline."





	Yesterday and Tomorrow

Roy fucking hated time travel. Someone really should have warned him that it was standard Justice League fare. If they had, Roy never would have joined them. As much fun as it was to have finally graduated to the Big Leagues. . . as much as it felt like he was a college player that had finally gone Pro. . . as much as he enjoyed having gotten to the League before Nightwing. . . as much as he enjoyed making Dinah, Hal and Ollie so damn proud. . . Christ, as much fun as it was to hear Lian proudly tell her Aunt Donna that, "Daddy's in the Justice League" . . .none of those things, not a _single damn one of them_ was worth the sheer agony of this trip.

There was little doubt in Roy's mind that the cosmic force responsible for sending him back in time - and there had been more than one magic jackass at that battle, so Roy wasn't really sure where to lay the blame - was a malicious one. Apparently, not only did they have it in for the Justice League as a whole, but they had it _specifically_ in for Roy, because not only had they sent him back in time, they hadn't even had the courtesy to send him to the Justice League Watchtower.

Nope. They'd sent him right smack dab in the middle of Titan's Tower.

It was a very fresh, very new Tower. From what Roy had been able to discern, he'd been sent back about eight years. The second attempt at the Teen Titans was just starting to form. While Roy was very much aware that he - or anyone at the Tower - could have contacted the Justice League, he couldn't fathom leaving this place. After Robin and Donna had given him free clearance to wander the halls, he'd just _listened_ to the sound of Kory's still somewhat broken English, Vic's familiar annoyance at Gar, and _Wally. . ._ Wally, alive, well, and carefree. Speedy wasn't here yet and Roy wanted to go find his younger self and let him know just how much he was missing.

Roy calmed that urge by reminding himself of the six year old little girl waiting for him at home. _Home._ Part of him wanted to flee there, far, far away from _this place_ that he'd long since relegated to being something that he could only see again in his dreams. But another, equally loud part of Roy hoped Raven would take her own sweet time in finding a way to send him back, because his dreams were never this vivid, even if they were always this bittersweet.

He'd spent probably twenty minutes just watching Raven flipping through her books before Robin popped his head into the room. Robin. The one person Roy had been trying so hard to avoid during this trip. It was rather impossible, however, since Roy had been tossed far enough into the past that Pixie Boots was still a _leader_ and damn proud of it. _//Not that he ever should have stopped being proud of it.//_ Christ, how long had it been since Dick had been that confident in his leadership without being an ass about it? "Roy? Your room is ready, if you'd like somewhere to wait while-"

"I'm really freaking the rest of the gang out, aren't I?"

Robin bit down on his lip, briefly. Roy tried not to be angry. It was entirely irrational to take that act, a Robin trait that Roy had loved so much once upon a time, as a sign of the Robin that would become a Nightwing who couldn't deal with bad news or grief - of the man that would push, run, and pull away from them all.

Raven answered in Robin's stead. "Your nervousness is distracting."

"Well, I wouldn't want to distract the woman trying to get me home."

"That would be unwise," Raven agreed.

"I'm sure Raven will come up with something soon," Robin assured him, no longer remotely resembling Nightwing. Robin's assurance in his presumption made Roy wince and wished he could warn Robin - and the rest of the Titans - about the events that were going to occur with each and every one of them.

But despite opinions to the contrary, he'd listened good and damn well to the protocol speech that had come as part of his initiation into the League. And chief amongst the big No Nos was fucking up the timeline. So, Roy simply nodded at Robin and swallowed down the years of grief he could have saved them.

Robin led the way to the room that Roy frankly could have found blindfolded. It was the very same room he'd lived in during all the years he'd been a Titan, the same room where he and Dick first -

_//No. No. No. I'm not thinking about that.//_ It was a dangerous train of thought to have when the Nightwing that had pushed him away wasn't anywhere in sight and all that remained in his place was a Robin that walked cockily down the halls of Titans Tower with his shoulders squared in a way that reminded Roy that the weight of several worlds _weren't_ resting there yet.

"It's been waiting for _our_ Speedy to come back," Robin informed him once they made it to the room. Roy thought about that, and wondered what the hell was the matter with him that he'd never realized how spectacular it was to have a room always waiting for you back when it had mattered. Why had he needed to have that foundation ripped away before he fully appreciated it? "The only thing we really had to do was add fresh sheets to the bed. Um, Kory kinda added some kind of perfume to the wash-"

Roy took a sniff as he walked into the room. "Ah. You haven't gotten around to explaining that we don't use the same soap to wash our clothes and our bodies yet."

"No. Will it bother you? Because if it does, I can wash them again."

"Na. Don't worry about it. I don't mind my sheets smelling like Donna's Bubble Bath." Bizarrely, Roy noted that the very first conversation he'd had with this man in years that was anything close to resembling civil was over _bubble bath._ The realization made him want to slam the door in the face of Robin, who was still standing anxiously in the door way, waiting to be invited in. But those blue eyes were looking up at Roy as though he might genuinely be the most important person on the entire planet, or if not the most important, certainly the most interesting. Fuck, how long had it been since those steady blue eyes had smiled up at Roy in a way that left no mistake about how important Roy was to him?

// _He used to. All the time,//_ whispered a part of Roy's brain that he really wished would shut the hell up.

"Don't just stand around in the door way, Short Pants. If you want to come in, do it already."

Robin smiled at his words in a way that made all of the hate Roy had for Nightwing wash away. He could still hate that man - the one that this one would become - but there'd be plenty of time for that later. Right now, he'd settle for stupidly gazing at the smile that had been missing from his daytime hours for years, but still haunted his dreams nightly.

"It has all your old games, but I guess they're almost ten years old now, so I didn't think you'd want to play them. We had most of the old movies that you like, but Gar accidentally taped over _Top Gun_ with-"

" _America's Funniest Home Videos_. I know. There's an ass kicking or two in the future for that."

Robin laughed, and Roy didn't know why he found it so surprising, because that's what Robins were supposed to do - smile and _laugh._ "It's so good to have you back, Roy. Even if you're not _our_ Roy. . . you've been _gone so long_." There was a hint of wistfulness in Robin's voice that hearkened back to Nightwing, but Roy didn't hate the kid for it. Instead, he could only marvel that he'd gone far back enough in time that _his not being there_ could stand at the front of the line of all that could possibly hurt Short Pants.

_//It's been so goddamn long since I was even on the list.//_ Needing to shake the thought from his mind - hell, wanting to get as far away from this train as he possibly could - Roy tried to joke. "Hey, I write." _//Which is more than you ever did.//_

__"Not enough," Robin claimed, sitting down on the bed. It was a perfectly innocent position for Robin to be in, considering that there wasn't any where else to sit, based on the other Titans' incorrect assumption that an Archer's room needed to be _empty_ for target practice. Still, an evil, useless, and irresponsible part of Roy's brain refused to see the Robin perched on the edge of his bed as anything resembling _innocent._ An even more evil portion of his brain reminded reminded, unhelpfully, just how innocent this Robin was, considering the timeline.

"Are you every going to come back to us, Roy?"

"Yes," he answered, knowing full well he shouldn't have answered Robin's question. But Robin kept _looking_ at him like he really mattered and those were _Dick's eyes,_ dammit. When had Dick's mask started covering them up?

_//About the time you started to lose him, wasn't it?//_ Roy's brain chimed in.

In return for Roy's answer, he was rewarded with another Robin smile. Roy wasn't sure he wouldn't have told Dick anything and everything he wanted to hear, as long as the other man promised to never stop smiling at him like that.

But Roy didn't want to make Robin into a liar, anymore than Nightwing already was, and he knew full well that wasn't a promise Robin would keep.

"I missed you so much when you went away," Robin said, in the kind of way that Nightwing never did, either before or after he'd left with Batman for an entire fucking year.

"So did I," Roy answered, vaguely enough that Nightwing shouldn't have been able to know that Roy was talking about a completely different set of circumstances.

But this wasn't Nightwing. As obvious as that was to Roy's heart, he didn't know why his brain kept forgetting that. "Did I . . . leave too? In the future?" In the time that it took Roy to try to formulate an answer, Robin dismissed the thought. "I'd never _do_ that, Roy. Especially not to you. Especially not after . . . after I almost lost you."

Roy had never had a very good temper. He'd shouted more than his fair share of angry words at inappropriate times and he'd cussed when a gentle word would have caught far more flies, or however the saying went. Sometimes he blamed it on his red hair and the accompanying temper. Sometimes he blamed it on Ollie. Right now, he blamed his outburst on the smug, arrogant, so _damn certain_ that he was in the right look on Robin's face, combined with the memories that "after I almost lost you" summoned. "Guess again, kid. Because that's _exactly_ what you did. And when you were done, you came back for an encore presentation of walking out the door."

His words smacked the happy smile right off of Robin's face and Roy tried hard not to feel triumphant that he could still have any type of emotional affect on the man whatsoever.

"But you're my _friend,_ Roy."

Those words hurt so damn much that Roy almost couldn't breathe. _//Not anymore.//_

__"We still _are,_ aren't we, Roy? I didn't . . .I'm not _going to_ lose my friends, am I?" Robin asked, his eyes glazing over with a sadness that made them look like Nightwing's eyes. In that moment, all of Nightwing's stupidity was forgotten, because Roy wanted so very badly to tell Robin him _no,_ just to make that look go away. The look in those eyes certainly melted away any sense of accomplishment he'd felt for being important enough to matter.

But this was _Robin,_ and Robin still cared enough to notice when Roy was lying. So, when Roy shrugged and tried to shake his head, Robin's eyes only widened and he stared up at Roy with an expression entirely too close to terror. // _Look what you've done now, Harper. That's never an expression that should be on Robin's face.//_

__"I am," Robin guessed softly.

Roy's guilt was enough to make him sit down on the bed beside the younger man and tentatively place an arm around Robin's shoulders, fully expecting Robin to pull away, because wasn't that what Dick always did in response to Roy's attempt to comfort him? When Robin actually _leaned back_ into the touch, Roy pushed every day of the past two years out of his mind and allowed his touch to turn to an embrace that pulled the younger man into his body.

"Did I become _him_?" Robin asked, with his wide blue eyes still staring sadly up at Roy.

Roy mentally cursed his own temper, because he knew exactly what Robin was trying to ask. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"No. . .I wanted to become as strong and as good in battle, but I never wanted. . .I never wanted to push my friends away like _he_ does. I never wanted to _be alone_ like he is."

"I know. I tried-" Roy cut himself off, because he realized there was very little he could say without further upsetting the kid. _//I tried to stop it. I could see it happening, and I_ knew _how the Dick Grayson I fell in love with would have felt about the man he was turning into . I tried so damn hard, and nothing I did or said every mattered. I couldn't_ stop _it.//_ "I'm sorry, Robin."

Robin shook his head there in the crook of his neck. "I'm sure it was _my_ fault," he said quietly, "And that's why you can't even call me by my real name."

"I'm afraid that if I do, you'll disappear," Roy confided, trying not to notice how good the familiar sensation of the man moving in his arms felt. _//And someday you will. And you'll be replaced by someone I barely recognize.//_

__Robin didn't help his cause by reaching forward and caressing the R on Roy's belt buckle. "Red Arrow. I don't like it. It's too close to Ollie's name."

"Yeah? You're not the first person to suggest that." // _If you're going to pull away from him, now would be a good time, Harper.//_

__Robin briefly flashed a smile at him - that cocky, self assured smile that Roy didn't ever want to go away. "You'll always be my Speedy, anyway," he teased. The smile fell from Robin's face. "Even after I mess everything up, you'll still be _my_ Speedy."

_//No, I really won't.//_ "I. . . hope so, Robin."

Those blue eyes narrowed slightly. "If that's really true, tell me what I'm going to do, Roy. Tell me _exactly_ how I'm going to mess up, so I know how to _fix_ it."

Roy's anger reared its ugly head again, as the cynical portion tried to convince him that the only reason Robin was being this nice was so that the younger man could find out important tips about the future. _//Manipulate your affection to suit his own purposes? That's a whole lot like Dick, isn't it?//_

__No, it was a whole lot like the man Dick would become - not the man Robin _was._ That thought unleashed a tide of sadness that did a more than efficient job at washing down Roy's anger and distrust. "I can't _tell_ you anything, Robin. Not without fucking up the timeline."

Robin's hand reached forward and stroked the belt buckle one more time. "Maybe," he said slowly, his voice keeping rhythm with his fingers, "We should _fuck_ with the timeline."

"That's a horrible pun, Robin, even for you." The sound of _Robin_ cursing was so wrong an image that Roy's memory immediately jumped to Nightwing doing the same. But Roy could only find examples from when Nightwing was angry, hurt. . .none of the memories Roy wanted to associate with right now.

"You _like_ my bad puns. Or at least you did."

"Yeah. I missed them." _//Every damned day.//_

Robin went back to smirking at him, even as the younger man . . . _//Too young!//_. . . moved below the waist. . . _//Should stop him. Soon.//_ and caressed Roy through his costume. The act made his brain scream at him to stop this even more because dammit, that kind of touch was too much like the first innocent fondles that Speedy and Robin used to share.

_//And you're damn well not Speedy anymore, Harper. Would it kill you to act like a fucking grown-up?//_

__While Roy was in the process of continuing to hone his skill at ignoring his brain's excellent advice, Robin apparently read his mind. At least, partially. Unfortunately, it wasn't the useful part of Roy's mind. "We used to experiment a lot before you went away, Roy. But we only ever got to second base," Robin said in the exact same tone of voice as he would use to say "Please pass the salt."

"Yeah, I, um, kind of remember that."

Robin's grip grew firmer and Roy had to grit his teeth in order to prevent the moan that wanted to escape. Gods, how long had it been since _Dick_ had been the _initiator_?

"We miss each other," Robin continued, in the leader voice that Roy had alternately resented and been turned on throughout the years. Unfortunately, the combination of that voice with Robin's hand was easily making it the latter at a time when Roy _knew_ he should put a stop to this. "And I'm old enough to move well beyond second base. Beyond third, even."

Roy's body had no trouble responding to the promise that Robin's words held, but his brain tried, one more time, to be reasonable. "Robbie," he began, "It's entirely too early for this."

"Early?"

"Soon. I mean - we aren't supposed to do this yet."

Something in Roy's sentence momentarily erased all traces of the sadness Roy had accidentally inflicted upon Robin from the younger man's face. "Then we _will,_ after you come back," Robin stated confidentially, as though answering some question that Roy hadn' t even realized had been asked.

"Yeah." Roy finally gave into the screaming conscience in his brain to pull his arm back away from Robin. The younger man looked frustrated for only a minute, before he stretched his lean form back onto Roy's bed. // _Dammit.//_ This was Robin, who still cared enough to _pursue,_ and Robin knew him well enough to know that there was practically no way Roy could resist the sight of Dick Grayson sprawled suggestively backwards on his bed. Those legs were spread in a gloriously dirty and obvious kind of way that gave Roy an eyeful of green panties.

"Robbie. . . " Roy started, but couldn't quite finish.

_//You'll be taking advantage of him//_ his brain argued internally. // _You know good and damn well why he wants to do this now.//_

__Roy did, but possibly only because it was obvious to any moron who wasn't Batman. Robin - _Dick -_ craved touch. It had been one hell of a shock for the little circus brat that had been used to daily hugs, pats, and kisses to move into the Bat Family, where none of those were allowed. Generally speaking, Dick had adjusted. But the circus brat still craved touch, and when times got truly bad, he sought out human contact in any way he could. Roy had spent many hours in the aftermath of battles that hadn't gone the way they should, just stroking Dick's hair.

_//And you just told him he's going to turn out just like Batman, Harper. Cold, emotionless, and cut off from the world.//_ His brain chided. // _Is it any wonder he's asking you to fuck him?//_ No, it really wasn't. Dick wanted Roy to kiss it and make it all better.

Roy tried really hard not to focus on the fact that he had five years worth of memories that gave him pretty damn good insight on how to make Robin feel far beyond better. The things Roy could _do_ . . . were all pretty good reasons to say no.

"Robbie, I don't think this is a very good idea," Roy tried again, his voice not nearly as strong as it had sounded in his head.

Robin titled his head. "I do," he answered simply. "I think they call it comfort sex. And I can think of no one I'd rather comfort me than _my_ Speedy."

The possessiveness Robin used on the word "my" sent a shiver down Roy's spine and really didn't help Roy's resolve _not_ to take advantage of the younger man. "I don't want to hurt you, Robbie."

"Roy, you'd _never_ hurt me."

Robin was so trustful. It'd been entirely too long since Nightwing had trusted him like that. Roy felt more of his resolve crumble, even as he attempted a clarification. "I'd be taking advantage of you."

Robin laughed, and even Roy's conscience acknowledged that the battle was hopelessly lost. "I _want_ you, Roy." _//God, it's been so long, so very fucking long since he's said that.//_ "You want _me._ How can that be wrong?"

Roy sighed and wished Robin would stop saying things that made it impossible for Roy to be the responsible one. _//Isn't that Robin's job, anyway?//_ Switching tactics, Roy tried the very last argument he had. "It could mess up the timeline."

"Hmm. Yes, it could." Robin wiggled his legs in an obscene manner that would have looked ridiculous if anyone else had done the same. "But, Roy, the future stinks. Don't you want to change it?"

_Check_ and _mate._ Roy figured it was only another month or two, tops, that Robin was going to be wearing those short pants. Which meant that they were dangerously close to Dick becoming Nightwing, and beginning the process of Roy losing him. Roy seized that knowledge, and blamed it as the reason that his hands shook as he slid the short pants down Robin's legs.  



End file.
